she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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