Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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