We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
