im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
