Im at strip club and am horny
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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