This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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