I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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