I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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