Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
