Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
