Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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