I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
