i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
time to smoke my breakfast
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Randomize
