She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
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Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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