the condom got lost in my hair
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
