He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
