I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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