Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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