areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
