wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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