If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
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once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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