i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
