no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize