i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
