I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
