I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
