I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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