I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
