The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
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