I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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