whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Randomize
