Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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