but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
