see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
