its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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