Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
