One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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