The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
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