we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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