Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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