Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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