I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
