ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
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