we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
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He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
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That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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