Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize