piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize