You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
