just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
