hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
