Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
