Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
