what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
