We won't sleep together?
You're so nebulous sometimes
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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