3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
