Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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