im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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