I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
