my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
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