I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I FOUND THE LEGS
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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