K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
