all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm bleeding and have questions
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
