haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
