Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
