I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
