Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
