I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
