david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
