And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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